Introducing…
Hey everyone, I know for all of the posts on T2D Adventures, so far, I have been your narrator… Up until now. I am very pleased to introduce our very first guest post author: Nicole Hachey. Nicole, as many of you know is my wife, and partner in everything I do. She has also been very vocal on the Facebook page, and in the Facebook Group. She deserves a ton of credit for everything produced so far because she has been my largest inspiration and is a heck of a good editor too. 😊 While I have been focusing on Type 2 Diabetes, the overall message of T2D Adventures is improving health. We all have our food challenges, and Nicole is here to talk about her challenge, and why we make such a great team… -Todd
How Did I Become Trapped in Food Prison?
Well, for starters, growing up I struggled with weight issues and I struggled with my body imagine. I wasn’t particularly athletic. I was the quiet, shy girl who lacked self-confidence and had low self-esteem. My lack of self-confidence held me back from wanting to try new things, like playing sports. Fear of looking foolish or like a failure, kept me off the playing field. I was afraid what people might say about me, assuming it would be negative. I tried to play softball, but it wasn’t for me. Basketball… I really had no coordination to dribble the ball and try to shoot. Instead of taking the time to practice I was more worried what people were thinking. I was so insecure I allowed my self-doubt to sabotage me… What a shame, maybe I could have been good, but I never gave myself a chance.
I was a follower, not a leader.
Understanding Addiction…
I grew up as an only child and my father was an alcoholic. If you have ever lived with anyone with a substance abuse problem, it’s like walking on egg shells every day. While I didn’t have a close relationship with my Dad, my Mom was my best friend. Growing up I was like most typical teenagers with an eye-rolling attitude who thought she knew it all. Later in life my Mom shared with me that she often went to work crying, wondering when things would get better. Geez, hard to believe I was that rotten. Thankfully I grew out of that stage, and our relationship strengthened over the years.
Before I understood what addiction was, I knew my dad was not like most. My parents fought a lot and I sensed the tension between them which left me feeling sad, hopeless and confused. Imagine a scared 7-year girl watch her father toss her mother’s clothes out of a second story window. How does a child that young process witnessing something like that?
Junk Food to the Rescue!
Easy! Eating junk food became my band-aid and so began my life in and out of food prison.
I loved sugary junk food. After school I couldn’t wait to jump off the bus and run to the corner store to buy as much candy as I could afford. I loved chips and chocolate of any kind. Ring Pops, Fun Dips, Skittles, Laffy Taffy, Pop Rocks, Nerds or Starbursts were some of my favorites.
Drinks? Kool-Aid was a staple item in our household and I drank it by the gallon. After all, it was the 80s and what kid didn’t love Kool-Aid? Seriously, how is this drink a good source of vitamin C? This is pure sugar water…
Cereal? Cocoa Crispies, Cocoa Pebbles, Fruit Loops… I would eat them by the handful right out of the box.
The Dreaded Teen Years…
I continued to struggle through my adolescent and teen years as my love for sugar and carbs continued to grow. It would be nothing to polish off a box of no brand macaroni and cheese as an after-school snack. Money was tight and we couldn’t always afford the good stuff.
Ramen noodles? Yup, I loved them too. When I was too lazy to cook, I would eat them raw, dipping them in the powdery mix. I would devour an entire can of Spaghetti-O’s or Ravioli without blinking an eye. A scoop full of peanut butter, mini chocolate chips, pudding, ice cream… I would eat all of these things before dinner and as I ate these foods, guilt was quick to settle in. I was constantly seeking comfort and security. Overcome with guilt, I would hide the evidence by burying the packages in the trash. Yes, I was ashamed and I worried my Mom would be mad and disappointed.
My High School years were not easy. I was either eating too much or starving myself all day, then I would binge on everything insight until I was beyond stuffed.
Becoming an Adult.
My parents divorced on my 18th Birthday. This was a pivotal moment in my life, but it was sad. After they divorced, my father and I became even more distant. Just as alcohol was the center of his life, food was for me.
I graduated college and yet my food choices never improved. Late night pizza runs with my girlfriends. We ate chips and dips, fast food and anything that was quick to make like Hamburger Helper. I loved Friendly’s waffle fries with their cheese sauce with a side of sour cream and a Quesadilla to go with it. When you’re at Friendly’s who can leave without having a sundae? Not me. Carbs and Sugar, oh how I loved thee! I frequently stuffed myself as if eating a Thanksgiving dinner.
Something Had to Change.
I knew I needed to change my eating habits if I wanted to lose weight. So, I joined Weight Watchers and started learning how to eat healthy. Weight Watchers reinforced breakfast was the most important meal of the day and one should eat every couple of hours. At the time, if I went for long periods without eating, I had bad headaches.
I hated keeping track of what I ate and counting points. If you’ve done Weight Watchers do you remember BLT’s? Bites, licks and tastes… Do you think I really accounted for those? Nope… I stuck with WW for a while, losing about 25 lbs, but I gradually stopped going to weekly weigh-ins and eventually just quit all together.
First Time Living on my own…
The first time I lived on my own was with a boyfriend I had known for only a couple of months. What a disastrous year that was and so weren’t the foods I ate! He had terrible eating habits and within a year he probably put on 30+ lbs. There were late night pizza runs at least 4 times a week. Who can resist “buy one, get one free”? All You and Eat Chinese Buffets? Why not stuff ourselves with endless plates of food? We’d do that, then go home and lounge on the couch, binging on movies, followed by more snacking.
Our kitchen was full of Hamburger Helper, Rice-A-Roni, Lipton Noodle mixes, Tater Tots, Texas Toast, Toaster Strudel, Chips, Cookies and of course sugary cereal. WOW! I was a full blown carb-addict!
After the break-up I moved back home with my Mom. Over the next several years my weight fluctuated between 124 to a high of 185. I was a classic yo-yo dieter. Again, I found myself back at Weight Watchers.
Life hasn’t been easy… but in between these years were many happy moments. My Mom remarried an amazing man, and I was no longer an only child. I now had two step-sisters, and a step-brother. Things seemed to be going in the right direction…
And Then out of the Blue…
I lost my Mom to cancer when she was only 54. With her passing, I fell into a deep depression and my eating habits again spiraled out of control. I didn’t care about myself nor what I ate. I was simply trying to survive.
By the time I was 33 yrs old I had gone through a failed marriage, and through bankruptcy. I made a choice to switch careers which cut my pay in half. Some fairytale life I was living… I was back at home, but this time living with my Grandmother. Desperately trying to make healthy choices, I took another stab at Weight Watchers… Why not, it worked so well the first couple of times.
Do you see my food prison pattern? By constantly turning to food for comfort, I kept myself trapped without a good way to cope. Sadly, it would still be another 7 years before I finally escaped, never to return. I have been very lucky to avoid a T2D diagnosis.
A Brand New Healthy Adventure Begins!
I was 36 when Todd and I met in July of 2011. We had known of each other from our previous time working at Walmart then years later connected through online dating. Yup, we were one of the couples that were a 95% match! For real, no joke! Our connection was instant… We then embarked on our next adventure together!
-Nicole
Please check out some of our other posts:
- The Mirror Tells No Lies…
- A-Ha! Moment #1
- To Fry, or Not to Fry…
And our Recommendations page!
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